Us against the world
by mida malek
Summary: This time, Dean wasn't going to let anything come between the two of them. Not even his own insecurities. Especially not his insecurities.


Hey so, I've wrote so many fics revolving this scene, but this one is different. I guess this one shows just how my baby is changing my life for the best. She's saving me and helping me push through everything...

Dean could still hear Sam's words echoing in his head. Not just the ones he had said about five minutes ago either. He could hear them all, every single word Sam had ever said with the intention of hurting Dean.

"Because I'm not pathetic like you"

"Dad's little soldier!"

"You wanna work together? Fine, let's work. But you wanna be brothers again?"

And now the worst of them...

"No Dean I wouldn't...same circumstances, I wouldn't do the same..."

Every single cell in his body told him to turn away and leave, to just say "fuck it" and leave everything behind. Like Sam had when he left for Stanford. Or when he hit a dog!

But Dean knew better than to even try. Maybe if it was a few years ago, he'd make an attempt, but not now.

Now, he knew Sam and himself better than ever before. Now he could see what was behind those words. Sam was hurt. He had managed to push Sammy away once again, and now, he knew better than to just blame Sam for it. To decide that Sam just didn't love him anymore.

Dean had learned to see his own mistakes too. He was to blame for this one.

So instead of turning tails and running like he wanted to do, he forced his legs to take him to Sam's room.

He took a deep breath before knocking on the door softly.

"Sammy?"

There wasn't a response, but Dean took that as Sam's way of telling him he was done pushing Dean away, at least for the night.

Dean slowly opened the door, walking in and he immediately spotted his brother, on his bed, his back to the door.

"Can I... Can we speak?" Dean wasn't sure if he was doing the right thing here, but he knew what he was about to say was the only unchangeable truth in their life.

He let a small smile tug at his lips when he noticed Sam nodding once. The kid wasn't making any noise but Dean knew for sure, he was crying. He had studied the signs for years, decades even.

It had always stricken him the strangest, how the time passed so fast. It felt like it was only yesterday when he broke into Sammy's house with Jessica and started everything that had happened to their family and friends.

But of course, only one second of having to bare all the guilt was enough to make Dean sure of how long it exactly had taken them to get here.

And he would never let himself forget about all the people who sacrificed their lives, just so Sam and Dean could keep on fighting.

He owed it to the world to get over his insecurities and do what was right.

So he stepped inside the room, slowly moving and sitting on the edge of Sam's bed, his eyes fixed on his hands since Sam's back was facing him anyways.

"Listen Sammy... I know that I messed up big time. And I know that it wasn't just this one time... I've had it all coming for a while haven't I?" Dean chuckled darkly.

"What with Amy and the gates and then Gadreel and..." Dean took a deep calming breath, trying to collect his thoughts, making sure he didn't miss this one chance to make it all right.

"And I know I was wrong taking off like that and hunting with Crowley... I wasn't thinking straight and I let him manipulate me...put this idea in my head that I'm not any good... I let him tell me you didn't care about me and I guess that's where I have always been wrong..." Dean paused, his eyes moving up to Sam's back.

"Sammy, you're my brother and it has always been my job to look after you! That one task, one mission, it was the only thing keeping me sane on the first year after mom died. Knowing that it was my responsibility to feed you and change your diaper and make sure you slept Okey..." He smiled, remembering the little kid with dimples, always reaching out for Dean.

"And then you started talking and your first word was MY name... Your first steps were towards ME... I got to watch you grow up and I got to fall in love with every little thing you did, little by little... When I was in high school, I saw all my friends act out and blame it on their teenage hormones and then there was me and...I just couldn't let that get to me, because you needed me and it felt good Sam. I was all mighty on my high horse, telling everyone how I basically raised you, and you let me be the hero Sam... You let me play my role, and every time you looked at me like I had just moved the sun, it made me fall in love with you just that little bit more..." Dean's voice was on the edge of breaking, and he tried to swallow past the lump in his throat.

This is exactly why he always avoided emotional talks.

"I guess somewhere, between when you left for college and when I came to get you, I forgot what that feeling tasted like. All I had was dad telling me I wasn't fast enough, strong enough, good enough... He did the best he could Sam but he wasn't you...no one ever made me feel whole like you did..." Dean paused, catching his breath, aware of how Sam's breathing was evening out.

"When I got you at Stanford and we got back on the road, in sync with each other, just in a few minutes, I had that taste back, and Sammy, it felt divine. God, it was like I could finally breathe for the first time in years and I was gonna be damned if I let it slip away again. So I just didn't care anymore about the family business or my damn soul or hell, for the whole world if it went up in flames. As long as I got to keep you with me..."

'Come on kiddo, look at me, talk to me, please…' Was all that was going through Dean's mind.

"Because Sam, taking care of you, it's not just my job, hasn't been for years... It's who I am! It's how I justify everything else in my life. It's how I keep sane! How I push at the nightmares and all the dark feelings inside me. Sometimes they get so strong, so big that I feel like they might swallow me whole, and I've had to watch with my own eyes what losing you would do to me Sam." Dean tried to push away the images of himself, getting Cas and Chuck and everyone else killed.

"Because Sammy, knowing that YOU need me, that YOU still see me as your hero was everything that ever kept me off the edge. It's my anchor. And whenever I feel like I'm losing that, I panic and I start acting like a crazy teenager on steroids and I freak out because you didn't see the monster I would turn into without you Sam..." Here came the punch line.

"So yeah, maybe you're right...maybe I AM selfish. But I'm selfish for all the right reasons Sam. I can't lose you little brother, not after so many people have died to keep us together. Not after everything that has happened. And I know that deep down you feel it too. Because you and I Sammy? We are just two parts of one soul. I can't believe I'm actually saying these girly stuff but I'll be damned if I give a flying rats ass right now! You and me Sam, that's all that matters. If we're going to ever die, it's gotta happen at the same time. Because I've watched the world bringing us back together even when we didn't try to. We will always somehow find our way back to each other, no matter what realm the other one is at. Because that's just who we are." Dean finished.

He bit down on his lip, his teary eyes on Sam's still shoulders, and he decided to go with his last shot.

"Sam, I just want to be your hero again kiddo... I would give anything to be your hero once again... And I know that I've broken your trust but I also KNOW we can make it all work, get a fresh start and work it all out! This is US were talking about. And this is more than the whole "were all we've got" thing we always talk about. I think the point to everything I'm saying is that... You're all I ever want to have. All I'll ever need. So the only question is...will you let me be the hero once again? YOUR hero?"

Dean finally fell silent, hoping to god that he had made his point this time, without any miss communications.

He looked up at Sam hopefully as he felt his brother start to move and gave Sam a faint smile as soon as Sammy rolled over and their eyes met.

"Dean..." That was all Sam managed to get out before he broke down in tears and heart wrenching sobs, throwing himself at his older brother's waiting arms.

The arms that Sam KNEW were always there to catch him if he fell.

The arms that would always help him get back on his feet when he lost his footing.

The arms that would never reject him, would always take him back in, no matter what Sam did, and Sam finally let his heart believe what he already knew.

This, what they had, this was all that had ever mattered and Sam was surely willing to try and give his brother another chance to get it right this time.

I hope this was lighter and happier for those of you who asked for a happy ending for once. :D XD


End file.
